When : Saturday, Octoberust 28th 2006
Where : In the seed
Time : Troubled me
Today I spent the whole day in my room, with Smt, watching the tube and practising to calm myself down. Yes, I felt agitated. Mega agitated. And my neighbours who are few doors away from me felt it too.
This is what happens when anger strikes back. I would end up screaming at the walls till it cracked and glasses shattered. While Smt, patiently watched me till his skin got real tight till it ripped him piece by piece.
What can I say? It’s painful to have me as a friend.
One minute I plant flowers in a heart-shaped-pot, next minute I would plant bombs in the heart.
I really hate myself. I really really hate myself more than I hate my flesh and blood who left me since I was born.
I feel so sorry for Smt.
I know I am not someone useful anymore. And having me around, there’s nothing I could give or provide with except waiting for something bad to happen…
Except waiting for something bad to happen.