31 08 2006


It all begins from the little pain that summed up neatly till it formed into one easy-to-spell word, “Bitter”.

Yes doctor, that’s how I spell out Augustus.

Soon, I’ll not only lose some ‘big-shots’ friends for being a temporary resident of a well-known-second-home-for-the-depressionista. I could also lose my darling job if they happened to realise how useless capsule-junkies I am now.

Sigh 😦



30 08 2006

Does no one even desire to fly with me?

 I can’t remember the face but I feel its presence.

 Hope is the key I need.

Any profession u gave me, I’m enjoying it

But that’s just it…


26 08 2006

So what am I?

I’m lovable Malay, sometimes huggable Javanese.

I’ve curled my hair and it’s ugly.

Short ones says I’m tall, small people says I’m big.

I’m loud and introvert at the same time. I looked dumb when quietly observing.

I am very cynical.

I still believe that love should be forever.

I hearts Tori Amos, red glasses and pink lipstick everyday.

I wear a lots of colours till it leads me to the trouble of choosing.

I’m a late-comer when comes to work. Only God knows why.

I wear sport shoe everywhere. Even to my friend’s sister wedding.

I like fish than beef, vodka than fish. But I like photography more.

I like throwing stones than colorful pebbles.

I hate watching people fight. It makes my heart split.

I feel stir-crazy writting this coz I’m running out of time.

Ok enough. More tomorrow.


24 08 2006

I feel ultimately dirty tonight.  I need rain.


22 08 2006

Since I’ve choose not to eat anything solid today, therefore I’m treating myself half a jug of home-made Oat Milk instead.

I know it may sound yucky to some. But having this for dinner is lucky than having just tap water, ok?

For those who wants to try making your own Oat Milk just like I did. Go snatch a pen and copy down these simple ingredients below onto your palm.

  • Four cups simple water (preferbly cold)
  • One ripe long banana
  • Two cups cooked oatmeal
  • One teaspoon vanilla
  • A pinch of salt (optional)
  • One Shiny Tall Glass (optional)
  • Blend all the above (except the tall glass) ingredients and best served chill.

    If it taste a little bland. Don’t cry, don’t grief. Just add sugar or honey, ok honey?

    Happy milking the oats!


    22 08 2006

    For some reason my head is feeling empty this evening. Good or bad, I don’t know. All I know, at times like these, even a cuppa of hot-bland-tea could tasted its best.

    Yesterday headache has gone. My hands, I’m able to clench again. (Yippie!) So beware necks!

    I am now having milk and oats for lunch. I know B.O.R.I.N.G. But I am so looking forward to finish this big bowl of oats as soonest as possible.

    Why? Go ask the sky.


    19 08 2006

    Two days of adjusting fate and facing the failure has converted love into something low, weak and upset.

    Maybe this is a punishment I get for loving someone who loves me not.

    Maybe tonight, I should just give my face a very tight slap, for not healing the wound but giving my heart a ride that is oh-so-cruel.

    Maybe I should just coop myself up inside the capsule then pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and pray for a life that is less sad.