ONCE AGAIN

What : Wave of Goodbyes
When : 4.06 am

Dear Sea of Hurt,

My head is confusingly spinning a haunted-web and it hurts me deep. Uncontrollably.

Whatever nameless pain flowing slowly are starting to move real slow-mo than ever. I feel so stuck, ackwardly stucked on the edge of this so-called life.

The more I tried to calculate, to understand the things around me, the more mathematically insane I get myself into.

Is this what Mr February have installed for me?

Shortlived happiness and unfulfilled peace? Is that all? Where’s death? Why death not included yet? How long more should I hang onto these invisible-enemies?

Oh please life, stop hissing! I’d rather u freeze my twenty-eight years of breathing and it than hearing me screaming, “Oh my God, no!”

STOP HISSING!

PERFECT DAY PERFECT DREAM

What : Ten days later
When : 12.07 am

“Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.”

For a minute, all of us wanted the same thing, same note, same life, same lucky star and exactly the same mindblowing battleground. Next thing I know, everything was just a dream. A short-torturing, meaningless dream that isn’t made to be part of mine and never mine to command.

Oh did I mention that I tried rescuing someone while everyone was wide asleep? Oh shut that flaming-lip up, Nong! As if anyone care.

Here’s Antony and The Johnsons for him and him and all the little cripple starfish they used to love.

Mr. Muscle forcing bursting. Stingy thingy into little me, me, me. But just “ripple” said the cripple. As my jaw dropped to the ground, smile, smile.

It’s true I always wanted love to be HURTFUL. And it’s true I always wanted love to be filled with pain and bruises.

Yes, so Cripple-Pig was happy. Screamed ” I just compeletely love you! And there’s no rhyme or reason I’m changing like the seasons. Watch! I’ll even cut off my finger. It will grow back like a Starfish! It will grow back like a Starfish! It will grow back like a Starfish!”

Mr. Muscle, gazing boredly. And he checking time did punch me and I sighed and bleeded like a windfall. Happy bleedy, happy bruisy.

I am very happy, so please hit me. I am very happy, so please hurt me. I am very happy, so please hit me. I am very very happy, so come on hurt me.

I’ll grow back like a Starfish. I’ll grow back like a Starfish. I’ll grow back like a Starfish. I’ll grow back like a Starfish. I’ll grow back like a Starfish. I’ll grow back like a Starfish. I’ll grow back like a Starfish. I’ll grow back like a Starfish.

Like a Starfish…